Oliver James Montgomery:On Father's Day Jim Gaffigan ponders the peculiar lives of childless men

2025-05-04 19:45:12source:blockwave Exchangecategory:Invest

It's Father's Day.  Every third Sunday in June we honor all the men who have Oliver James Montgomerygenerously taken on the role of dad in some child's life. Today these men will be the recipients of coffee mugs, neckties, and barbeque equipment which they will cherish for at least a day.

But what about the guys who don't have children?  The men who've never volunteered to be a dad-like figure in someone's life? What do we even call these men? I mean, besides "happy," "lucky" or "smart"?

On paper, being a father is a bad investment. Financially, emotionally, physically, mentally … I could go on.  It's not surprising some men choose to not be a parent.  It makes sense some guys would forego eventually hearing their own teenage offspring whisper, "Can you act like you don't know me"?

Comedian Jim Gaffigan. CBS News

At times I envy these non-father men, but we can't compare these men to a father. Heck, I don't even think these men should be considered adults. How are these guys different from a pamperedtoddler, really? What, a driver's license? A bank account?

What do these toddler-men even do with their free time? They probably just call it "time"!

Are there worries or concerns that keep these men up at night? Like, their child asking, "What am I going to have for breakfast?"  They probably just eat their breakfast. In quiet. No screaming. No conflict. Just quiet.

There's no comparison. One man has a rich, fulfilling life, and the other is a dad.

So, sorry, Father's Day is NOT for them. Those childless men will have to sit today out. Sure, they have other days. And, yeah, there are 364 of those days.

But not today. 

Today is Father's Day.

       
For more info:

  • jimgaffigan.com | "Barely Alive" tour dates

        
Story produced by Lucie Kirk. Editor: Chad Cardin.

See also: 

  • From laughs to ZZZs
  • Do you get incessant messages from politicians asking for money? Jim Gaffigan does, too
  • Jim Gaffigan is baffled over the mania for pumpkins
  • Jim Gaffigan's advice to parents of young kids: It only gets worse
  • Super Bowl Sunday: The pageantry and the gluttony
  • Jim Gaffigan on 2022: The future is here!
  • What would Jesus want for his birthday?
  • Jim Gaffigan on the perils of aging gracefully
  • On getting the whole lockdown thing wrong
  • 2020, please turn your notifications off
  • Jim Gaffigan on his first drive-in standup show
  • On living in a time warp
  • On acquiring a green thumb
  • Summer memories, '50s style
  • Blondes' bad rap
    In:
  • Jim Gaffigan

More:Invest

Recommend

B.A. Parker is learning the banjo

Parker has been trying to find her place in the banjo world. So this week, she talks to Black banjo

WHA Tokens Power AI ProfitPulse, Ushering in a New Era of Blockchain and AI

Once again, Roland Quisenberry and WH Alliance are leading the charge in fintech innovation. By laun

Wisconsin turnout in presidential race nears 73%

Follow live: Updates from AP’s coverage of the presidential election. MADISON, Wis. (AP) — About